More than enough

Before we entered the prayer labyrinth,I asked the boys to listen to the Lord about the topic of their prayer journey. Immediately,I knew that the Lord was going to talk to me about faith. The subject of faith had been weighing on my heart for the last few months,but especially quite recently as I pondered with anxiety if we were really going to relocate without a place to live,without a means to support ourselves,and with no semblance of a plan in sight. This is really not like me–footloose and fancy free,fly by the seat of one’s pants,I am not. But strangely,I felt like it was right and even blessed to move with these things unsettled. And so there wasn’t a disquiet in my spirit as much as an anxiety that was plaguing my soul and robbing my joy. I yearned for the kind of faith that would squeeze out the anxiety,that would dominate my psyche and put worries in their place! But it seemed that faith eluded me. That is,until the Lord spoke truth to me.

When I reached the center of the labyrinth (where the boys had been waiting and were alternately listening to God while finding dead bugs and burying them),the Lord spoke very clearly to me. The following is the gist of what he said. “Leslie,you have more faith than you know. Once it was stolen from you,but now you have been given a double portion. You have more than enough faith,more than you need for the journey ahead. So use it! Believe it,expect it,be bold in it. Say to yourself,‘I have faith for this!’And pass it on to others,because it will multiply and spill over to everyone around you.”

Two things really struck me. First,truth rocks! How often I have labored under a spirit of poverty,feeling like I don’t have enough,that God has given me barely enough (or even is making me stretch what I have to cover more miles). But this simply isn’t true! The Lord is a generous God,and “he has given us everything we need for life and godliness”(2 Pet. 1:3). And in my journey,he has given me plenty of faith for what is ahead. I can luxuriate in it! On a side note,I thought it was interesting that at this juncture the Lord dealt with my anxiety through speaking truth to me–truth about my situation,but also truth about myself. More and more,I see the Lord bringing me into my natural design. And in this case,he is telling me that he has designed me from eternity past to be a woman of “more than enough”faith. And this is beautiful to me.

Secondly,I was struck that this “more than enough”faith is not just for me but for others too. It was particularly interesting because that morning I had been asking the Lord what my role is in this next season of life. I have no ministry position,no job,no church (in the traditional sense) to define my role any more. Moreover,I don’t know how I fit into our new community. I feel “other.”You know,like the category that catches all the things that don’t fit the majority? That’s me–”other.”Honestly,I don’t feel bad about it–just confused. Like who does the Lord want me to be in Globe? What role does he want me to play? Well,so far,I’ve got this–a woman of “more than enough”faith. And if this is all that I get to be,then this is more than enough for me.